The Caregivers Journey

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;
I recently provided a session with a cancer support group that had more cancer caregivers in the group than cancer patients. The caregivers were spouses, children, grandchildren, relatives and friends. During the sessions, I always have a segment devoted to the caregiver. Having been a cancer patient and not a caregiver, this segment about the caregiver is from an observation point of view and not from the actual experience of being a caregiver. Only the caregiver knows and understands the journey of the caregiver on the cancer patient's treatment journey.

As a result of the discussions and questions regarding care giving of the cancer patient, several observations about the caregiver's journey are worth the attention of the cancer patient;
1. The caregiver's life is disrupted equally as much by the diagnoses of cancer.
2. The caregiver had a life B4 becoming the caregiver and the new routine is now consuming that time.  
3. The stress and agony of cancer is equally hard on the caregiver.
4. A sense of guilt is felt when the caregiver now does things they did B4 the cancer diagnosis, and the
    cancer patient cannot participate.
5. Fear of the future and maintaining a sense of security through the journey creates added stress.
6. The roles and responsibilities of being a caregiver are not defined for the caregiver and the cancer patient.
7. The caregiver gives up the time they use to have for themself as it is being consumed by care giving.
8. The caregiver suffers in silence.

Surviving cancer is equally as stressful for the caregiver as it is for the cancer patient. The pain for the caregiver is more emotional than physical pain. If not recognized and attended to, the stress may begin to affect the caregivers own health. If the caregiver goes down, the cancer patient is going to be in big trouble.
The cancer patient and caregiver must work together to:

•  Define the role of the caregiver for the journey
•  The caregiver needs to maintain their life by managing the stress, staying healthy and making time for   themself
• The caregiver can't become a martyr, they should be patient with the cancer patient, push the patient when they need to be pushed, don't be mistreated, and don't turn away any help that is offered to you.

The cancer treatment journey doesn't have to be made more difficult than it already is for the cancer patient and the caregiver. The caregiver has a new role and responsibilities as well as added stress and emotional turmoil. The caregiver needs to recognize the challenges that are not obvious during the treatment journey, and take care of themself.  Being the designated caregiver doesn't mean your the designated martyr.

Stay healthy, keep your sense of humor and never give up.

Get On The Team

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;
Fighting your battle with cancer requires a team effort with the oncologist, treatment team and cancer patient. When you are diagnosed with cancer, your oncologist and treatment team know exactly what, and how, they are going to treat you and rid you of the disease. They know the treatment regimen and the protocal they will follow. They know, the what, the how, and the when, of your treatment process. Unfortunately, the cancer patient, who has Never Done This Before, doesn't know what he doesn't know. The cancer patient doesn't feel like a customer, and more likely feels like a victim or a specimen.The cancer patient certainly doesn't feel like they are a member of the team, and the treatment process lends itself to this feeling.

Don't let the treatment of cancer be done to you. Insert yourself into the process and have treatment done with you. If you don't know what is in store for you as you go through treatment, then ask the oncologist and members of your treatment team. You should be proactive in your treatment process and you should know what your oncologist and treatment team expects of you as the patient, to achieve the best outcome from the treatment. Know the choices you have and alternatives you can choose, to make informed decisions.

During my year of treatment, there were many times I knew I wasn't the customer, and felt like a victim and sometimes a specimen. I learned the more I knew what was expected of me by the the oncologist and treatment team, the more I felt like treatment was being done with me and not to me. The more I knew and understood about the process, the fewer surprises I experienced, and the more choices I had and could make. My anxiety level decreased and my fear of the unknown about treatment, deminished.

Every cancer patient decides how they will deal with their cancer and treatment. Decide to be a member of the team and have treatment done with you and not to you.

Stay strong, keep your sense of humor, find what works for you, and never ever give up.

Antioxidant and Cancer Preventing Foods

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;

There is never a good time to be diagnosed with cancer. When the diagnosis is confirmed the resulting fear and emotional upheaval just adds more stress to your body. Coupled with the toxic abuse of chemo and radiation treatment, your body's strength, endurance, tolerance and immune systems can decline very rapidly.

Cancer patients need to settle the fear and emotional distress as quickly as possible and focus on helping there body remain strong and endure the rigors of treatment. Cancer patients need to feed the system. Many will be advised by a dietitian what and how to eat during cancer treatment. The challenge during treatment is to keep feeding the system, which becomes more and more difficult during a long treatment regime.

I found during my treatment that eating more frequent smaller meals was easier than trying to consume the same level of calories with just three meals a day. As the treatment makes you nauseous, your tired, have no energy and you haven't done anything to create an appetite, eating becomes a major undertaking. Not to mention you can't taste the food anyway. Sounds like a conspiracy.

Break the day up to eat 5-6 small meals rich in protein, antioxidants and good calories, especially antioxidant and cancer preventing foods. Now is the time to help your body with the fight of your life, and the antioxidant and cancer preventing foods will help. The selection to eat is very large. I know prior to my cancer diagnosis I was eating very few antioxidant and cancer preventing foods. Once I was diagnosed, the research Linda had done indicated I needed to include high antioxidant and cancer preventing foods in my diet. The following are many of the high antioxidant and cancer preventing foods you can eat:
Berry Fruits; blackberries, blueberries, raspberries,strawberries,cranberries, cherries
Citrus Fruits;oranges, kiwis, grapefruit, lemon, lime
Other Fruits; pin apple, apples,apricots,mango's, peaches,prunes, plums, watermelon, cantaloupe, red grapes, tomatoes, raisins
Vegetables; broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower,cabbage,carrots,cooked artichoke, spinach, green and red peppers, sweet potatoes, russet potatoes, pumpkin, squash, kale, beans
Beverages; green tea, white tea, black tea, coffee, vegetable juice, red wine, pomegranate juice,dark beer

My diet during treatment included these foods. Every morning at breakfast I would have berries with my oatmeal and glass of milk. Every meal included an antioxidant food or several. Today I still eat foods rich in antioxidants in most of my meals.

If you do the research you will find numerous other antioxidant-rich foods and foods that help your body prevent cancer. Eating during treatment is a major challenge but eating the right foods to help your body fight back is a good battle strategy.

Stay strong, keep your sense of humor and never give up.

Knowing When the Hard Part Starts

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;
There is no good time to be diagnosed with cancer and there isn't a good time to start cancer treatment. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you think - nothing good will come of this - and sure enough, as you go down that treatment process road, it begins to look like nothing good will come of this, all the while your cancer treatment team is trying to cure you. During the course of being diagnosed, going through treatment, surgery, more treatment, then recovery, it becomes difficult to know when the hard part starts because each step on the treatment journey path seems to be the next harder part.

You may say the hard part starts at diagnosis. But the reason you need to recognize when the hard part starts is because when you reach that point where you just can't go on, doing no more would be a blessing, you have had enough and you can't take it anymore, is when you will need to "Buck Up", dig deep into your inner strength, and muster every ounce of determination and grit to go on. That's when you know the hard part starts. Everything was easy up to this point compared to what you need to do now.

Knowing when the hard part starts will help you during the treatment journey to decide where to spend your energy. You will know you're there when you are ready to quit. Thats when you decide what to do and whether to go on, not before.

I had several times during my treatmet journey when I reach the point I decided I wasn't going to be able to continue. The mind was willing but the body was not. I knew I wasn't dying yet because my body hadn't told me it was dying. I felt I didn't have the energy, strength or stamina to do any more. The treatment made my body ache from head to toe. I couldn't sleep because of the pain and the steroids to tolerate the chemo.  The pain from surgey and the energy to recover was intense. I had a choice to make as every cancer patient does, succumb to the cancer and treatment or buck up and push through it. I knew I wouldn't like the alternative if I didn't buck up.

Knowing when the hard part starts is difficult to determine when the entire journey is tough. But when you make the decision you need to buck up is when you will know the hard part has started. That's the time you need to throw every ounce of energy and determination you have in you, at the treatment and cancer. It may happen several times during the course of the treatment. Conserve your energy and strength for the time when you will need it most, when the hard part starts.

Stay strong, keep your sense of humor and never give up.

Season Meals for Taste

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;

The treatment process of chemo, radiation, surgery all have effects on your senses. As treatment continued for me I found my senses deteriorated more and more. The sense of smell, touch, taste, as well as my eye sight and hearing all became worse as I clocked 4 months of treatment sitting in an infusion chair five days a week for 4-5 hours every four weeks. In my case most of my senses have not returned to their normal strength since I completed treatment. The sense that took the biggest abuse was my sense of taste.

During treatment your sense of taste deteriorates and changes frequently as treatment progresses. You never know what something is going to taste like because it never has the same taste while you are in treatment. Foods with mild flavors like eggs, rice, mashed potatoes, baked and broiled chicken, and most meat products all had no taste for me. I found smoked meats and anything flavored with bacon I could taste. I added hot sauce to rice so it had flavor I could taste. As treatment progressed, I found myself doctoring my meals with various seasonings to be able to taste them. It was bad enough that I didn't have an appetite and no desire to eat anything, but forcing myself to eat 5-6 small meals a day without any flavor I resorted to bombarding everything I ate with heavy seasonings. Garlic, Italian seasonings, cheyanne pepper, barbeque sause, tabasco sauce, hickory smoke flavoring, salt, pepper.....any seasoning that would raise the level of taste in meals for my weak sense of taste. I flavored popcorn so strong most people couldn't eat it.

My sense of taste never returned and it may be the weakest of my senses after recovering from treatment so I still season foods to a level most people wouldn't eat. Going through the rigors of treatment causes your appetite to disappear, coupled with the loss of your ability to taste anything makes eating during treatment a major undertaking. So season your meals to be able to taste them. Try different seasonings. You can't hurt the meals flavor because you can't taste it anyway. You are just trying to add flavor and taste to a meal you really have no desire to eat but know you must to maintain your strength for treatment and recovery.

 So find the seasonings that work for you. The challenge is to find the seasonings and flavors that you can taste while in treatment. I found hickory smoke flavoring, barbeque sause and tabasco sause worked best for me, along with alot of garlic, salt and pepper.

You have to eat during treatment to keep up your strength but you don't have to suffer through the lack of taste and flavor in your meals. Be creative, get out the seasonings and season your meals to taste them.

Stay strong, keep your sense of humor and never give up.

Let Your Body Sleep

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Care Givers;
Cancer treatment puts an enormous emotional and physical stress on your body. The physical stress chemo treatment and radiation put on your body are hard enough but when you add the emotional stress that accompanies you on your journey, the stress level is compounded.

I found chemo treatment made me very tired, especially the days I was doing treatment. Coupled with the every day activities of trying to live my life with cancer and treatment sessions, I became extremely tired and run down. The amount of sleep I was getting was not sufficient enough to get me through the day. By default, I found myself going to bed earlier at night and awaking later in the morning. I went from getting 6-7 hours of sleep every day to 10-12 hours of sleep every day. I wouldn't nap during the day because I am not a good napper. I wake up crabby from a nap.

The more sleep I managed to get the better I felt. There were many times while in chemo treatment I needed a sleep aid to help me sleep. Because of thesteroids that I was on to help with the treatment, I would wake up in the middle of the night  wide-eyed staring at the ceiling. During the 5 day treatment sessions, the sleep aids helped me sleep better. I only used the sleep aids on the nights of the treatment days. On weeks that I wasn't in treatment, I didn't need the sleep aids.

Listen to your body. It will tell you it needs more sleep. The more sleep you can get improves your ability to endure the treatment and recover between treatment sessions. I suggest 10-12 hours. Go to sleep when your body tells you it is tired. Let your body wake up on its own when it is fully rested. I found my body would wake up when it felt it was rested. I have continued this practice ever since. I don't need an alarm clock. My body tells me when it is rested and when it should get up.

If you are in treatment or you have completed treatment and are recovering, get as much sleep as your body will allow. It won't make the pain from treatment go away but it will give you the strength to endure the pain better. More sleep will also help your stamina and ability to continue living your life with cancer and treatment.

Sleep more, stay healthy, keep your sense of humor and never give up.

Surviving the Flu and Cold Season

Good Morning Cancer Patients and Caregivers;
The news recently announced this year's flu and cold season has begun earlier than in most years and anticipation is it will be worse than previous years. If you are going through chemo and radiation treatment during this period, this is not good news because the flu and colds create another hurdle that has to be overcome if you come down with it.

So, what do you do? Prevention, Prevention, Prevention.... If you haven't gotten a flu shot, yet then get one now. Your immune system needs as much support as it can get while you are in treatment. Even when treatment is completed and you are recovering, your immune system is more depleted and you need to protect yourself from getting the flu or a cold. Eat healthy, stay away from sick people. Small children are germ factories and you don't have the strength in your immune system to ward off unnecessary germs that could make you sick. Wash your hands frequently, especially if you have been in contact with others. You can use hand lotion to add the moisture back into your hands and fingers. Keep your hands and fingers away from your mouth, eyes and nose. Use hand sanitizers if you prefer not to wash your hands often. If you travel or go out, be on guard for people that are coughing, sneezing, have a fever, ache all over .... and stay away from them. If you can't, then cover your mouth and nose til you can get away from them. If you happen to be on an airplane and someone is coughing and sneezing, turn the overhead vent above you so it blows away from your head and could keep the germs from coming closer.

During the flu and cold season, while going through treatment, you must be on guard to protect yourself from getting sick. You don't want to have to stop treatment because you are sick or too run down to continue. Nothing good will come from the delay. Cancer treatment is difficult enough without complicating it with the flu or a cold. The Holiday Season will be tough because many family and friend gatherings occur. So be aware of your surroundings and enjoy the  gatherings. Take your daily vitamines and increase your vitamine C during this period.
.
Stay warm, stay healthy, keep your sense of humor and never give up.