When Its Not Over,Yet

Good Morning Cancer Survivors;
There is nothing more discouraging than finding out It's Back. It's like a bad dream that keeps returning.  Wham.... bad news.You're getting close to finishing treatment and you think the treatment is working and you can begin the recovery process, Wham... bad news. During a routine follow-up check with your oncologist, the damn thing pops up some where else or treatment and surgery didn't get it all. Damn... it's not over yet. These and many other occurrence of the dreaded bad news have a way of distorting your courage and discouraging you.

After I completed surgery I was informed by the surgeon while I was getting ready to check out of the hospital, the pathology report showed no signs of the tumor in my esophagus but microscopic cancer in several of the lymph nodes. The good news.... treatment worked at destroying the cancerous tumer....the bad news.... you need to start the chemo treatment again to destroy any residual microscopic cancer cells that may not have been removed with surgery. So after recovering from surgery for 10 weeks I started the treatment regime again - 5 days a week in an infusion chair for 5 hours a round, every four weeks, for six sessions.

Just when I thought the worst was over, the journey made a bad u-turn to renewed treatment. It took me a while to reconcile the bad news which consumed more energy than I should have allowed it to but I was extremely disappointed. It took me about three weeks to regain my inner-strength and decide to go down the chemo treatment path again. Given the choice, I would have much rather stabbed my hand with an ice pick than start treatment again. Although I did have a choice. I could elect not to go through treatment again but I figured I would rather not get down that road and find out latter it's back. I chose to be aggressive and start treatment again. This was an extremely hard decision that was made easier when I thought through my choices and their consequences.

I found with cancer you shouldn't underestimate its resolve to continue infecting you. It is a disease that works 24-7's to kill you, making your battle with it, the worst battle of your life and for your life. It's easy to become discouraged and distraught over the bad news, which makes it more difficult to dig down into your inner strength to buck-up. But thinking through the alternatives and the choices you have, helps deal with the anguish and your ability to buck-up.

When the news is not good, causing the journey to go on longer, I encourage you to get through the discouragement cycle quickly. There are choices and decisions to be made that require a clear mind. Consider instead, there are more cancer patients surviving cancer today and living with cancer today than ever before, and you are one of the survivors. Don't give up, stay strong and keep your sense of humor.